Thoughts

New Year, New Cliche

I swear I didn’t set out to be one of those New Year resolution guys.  I’ve always thought that if something needs doing or changing then you either do it when it needs to get done, or you don’t, and why should a date on a calendar be the boss of me etc.

However since the New Year I’ve just felt in the mood  to change things up.   I lost a lot of weight last year and want to carry on making progress, and just in the last couple of days I felt an inkling to get back to the gym.  I’ve been rising earlier than ever and getting to work about 2 hours earlier than I need to and so I’ve decided to spend one of those hours in the gym near work.

Which of course necessitated joining the gym, buying some new clothes to work out in (since all my old stuff is now far too large) and so on.

Today was my first session and it felt good but tiring as you’d expect.   I doubt I’ll be able to raise my arms from  the desk by lunchtime.

The-Gate-Keeper-copy

Other stuff that feels good – I’ve decided to start meditating again.  I did a period of mindfulness stuff using the Headspace app (recommended) which helped me out a lot, but then I kind of drifted.   I feel it’s time to start up again and I’m going to be using these things as a meditation aid – since I tend to see the world in terms of Story (capitalisation deliberate and pretentious) these cards show archetypal figures devoid of faux historicity.   I’ll feed back how it works out

For more information about the Forty Servants cards visit Tommie Kelly’s site HERE

Fiction

Journey

 

The pain is everywhere now.   The cords are tight around my arms and my legs, the long cuts on my back from the scourge weep blood, but the pain is no longer confined to arms, or legs, or cuts.   I am pain, a fire from head to toe flaring with every beat of my heart… or the drum… and the beat is fast, too fast.    The fire is outside me too, at the edge of the clearing, wood from the ash tree, flames crackling and eager.   The fire in my body longs to be reunited with the fire outside me and if I was not bound I would rush into its heart and be devoured.   The woman I love watches, eyes fearful, brave enough not to comfort me.   I endure. Continue reading “Journey”

Poetry

Ode on Celestial Music – by Brian Patten

It’s not celestial music it’s the girl in the bathroom singing.
You can tell. Although it’s winter
the trees outside her window have grown leaves,
all manner of flowers push up through the floorboards.
I think – ‘what a filthy trick that is to play on me,’
I snip them with my scissors shouting
I only want bona fide celestial music!’
Hearing this she stops singing.

Out of her bath now the girl knocks at my door.
‘Is my singing disturbing you?’ she smiles entering,
‘did you say it was licentious or sensual?
and excuse me, my bath towel’s slipping.’
A warm and blonde creature.
I slam the door on her breasts shouting
I only want bona fide celestial music!’

Much later on in life I wear my hearing aid.
What have I done to my body, ignoring it,
splitting things into pieces my hands
cannot mend anything? The stars, the buggers, remained silent.
Down in the bathroom now her daughter is singing.
Turning my hearing-aid full volume
I bend close to the floorboards hoping
for at least one song to get through.